Episode 3

Today's episode of The Weekly Planner takes a deep dive into 4 key areas to hone in on to develop strong relationships with students.

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Today, on The Weekly Planner, we will look at establishing and maintaining strong relationships with students.

We can all name a teacher from our past that had an impact. Negative or positive, that teacher did something that made our educational experience memorable. As an educator and as a principal, the moments we have with our students all build upon one another in making sure that our goal of a quality education is achieved. Today’s episode of THE WEEKLY PLANNER will take a deeper look at 4 key areas to hone in on to ensure our relationships with students are positive and productive.

As educators, our job and role does not simply begin when the students enter the classroom and end when they go home. Our job is to ensure that the students take with them what was taught in class and apply the skills and lessons to their everyday life beyond the school hours, school days, and eventually school years. When we form effective relationships with our students, we have a better chance of ensuring those skills and lessons are applied more consistently. According to the American Psychological Association, “Positive teacher-student relationships draw students into the process of learning and promote their desire to learn (assuming that the content material of the class is engaging, age-appropriate and well matched to the student's skills)” (Rimm-Kaufman, S., PhD, and Sandilos, L., PhD, 2015).

To start the school year, learning a students’ name and interests is the most important aspect of starting a relationship with a student. Greeting students in the morning by their first name and saying it correctly sounds simple but it shows the student you value their identity. I agree with PBISrewards.com, with the following statement, “never underestimate the impact of a simple, daily “Hello” and “Have a great day” can have on each student.” Those small moments to the student followed up with their name demonstrates to the student the importance of taking time to greet and invest time in one another. According to the Poorvu Center for Teaching and Learning at Yale, “Failure to know or correctly pronounce student names has been tied to implicit bias and feelings of alienation among students (Mitchell 2016). While this failure can seem likely in larger classes, it need not be. Research into use of nametents on desks indicates that merely the student perception that an instructor knows their name can help them feel valued and increase classroom engagement, even when the instructor does not know all names (Cooper et. al 2017). Knowing and expressing a desire to know student names can undergird an instructor’s commitment to inclusivity and solicit more focus from students in classrooms large and small (Tanner 2013).” Furthermore the Poorvu Center provides 5 great suggestions for learning and using students’ names. 

Knowing your students’ name is a great start but in order to foster a deeper relationship it is imperative educators learn all about each of their students’ identity which includes their strengths, weakness, temperament, and interests. Being able to educate a student is grounded in our ability to build a strong connection with each student and an ‘All About Me’ Poster and or area within the classroom does that by allowing students a spot to give us a glimpse at their interests. The magic in educating a student is in our ability to take our students’ interests and build examples into our teaching practices. Sports and math can go hand in hand just as well as movies and music can be connected with literature. In the end, our students’ culture should be interwoven into our curriculum. A great author who gives great feedback on the importance of student identities is Dr. Christopher Emdin. His novels, For White Folks Who Teach In The Hood and Ratchetdemic: Reimagining Academic Success have had a huge impact on my growth as an educator. One thing that stood out was when he said, “students quickly receive the message that they can only be smart when they are not who they are. This, in many ways, is classroom colonialism; and it can only be addressed through a very different approach to teaching and learning.” That different approach starts in our ability to recognize the identity of our students. Allow time and space for students to put their identity on display. With recognizing a student's identity, keep in mind the future aspirations of students. At every age, children have passions and interests in future careers which should be recognized. This all plays a part in the students’ identity and being a support system for students in reaching their aspirations further builds a positive and productive relationship.

Once the school year is running, an ‘All About Me’ poster and knowing a student’s name is not going to sustain the relationship. This is where listening and allowing for time to interview one another plays an important part. When listening, our responses should always be calm, warm, and restating what the students have told us.

According to the American Psychological Association, “Students with more internalizing problems (e.g., depression, anxiety) show greater dependency on their teachers than their average counterparts (Henricsson & Rydell, 2004), whereas students with more externalizing problems (e.g., aggression, problem behaviors) show more conflict with teachers (Murray & Murray, 2004; O'Connor et al., 2012).” Empathic listening allows an educator to build a relationship and deeper connection with both groups of students. According to The Crisis Prevention Institute, “empathic listening is a dynamic and compassionate process that calls for more than taking in someone else’s words,” Furthermore the Institute provides 7 tips for empathic listening which include:

• Being non judgemental
• Giving people undivided attention
• Listening carefully (to feelings and facts)
• Showing that you are listening carefully through posture and nonverbal messages
• Not being afraid of silence
• Restating and paraphrasing
• Following up

Every student we encounter communicates to us through different channels and empathic listening can make a connection no matter the level of problems our students may exhibit. Connections can be hard to establish and maintain, but as the Crisis Prevention Institute says, “through empathic listening, we show our students that we care about them, their thoughts and feelings, and are willing to take the time to hear them out.”

Going back to PBISrewards.com, another one of their strategies to build relationships with students involves beginning with the end in mind. Thinking of the end in mind involves a deep dive into where students should be emotionally and academically by the end of the school year. Through the use of lesson planning, active teaching, and learning through your professional learning community we all ensure that progress is made towards that end goal that was identified. Relationships with students are strengthened throughout the school year when the progress of a student becomes the focus each and every day. When we are in front of the students, our educational practices have to demonstrate an ‘eye on the prize’ or a passion towards helping our students when the end in mind. ThoughtCo.com and writer, Derek Meador, offers 10 strategies that educators can utilize within their daily educational practices to ensure we reach the end in mind and build a great relationship throughout the process. Some great strategies include:

• Providing structure
• Teaching with enthusiasm and passion
• Having a positive attitude
• Incorporating humor into lessons
• Making learning fun
• Using students interests in lessons
• Incorporating storytelling into lessons
• Treating students with respect during class

In keeping track of progress, Data walls and data binders show the students that you care about their progress and provide them recognition when they meet and exceed goals or expectations. Edutopia.org has an article on discussing 6 strategies for building better student relationships and one best practice is in posting student pictures and student work. I completely agree with the article when author Cicely Woodard says, “students love seeing how they have changed over the course of the year because they realize that their growth and development is not only physical, but intellectual and emotional as well.” Pairing the discussions at school with a quick phone call home builds a link between home and school which can ensure educational progress continues. Parents are a huge asset that should always be recognized whenever possible and building a relationship with a student must be grounded in having a relationship with their guardian. Keep in mind the physical progress of a student. If students' physical needs are not being met in terms of clothing, food, or other household items then their progress at school will be interrupted. Going back to Meador’s article on ThoughtCo.com, developing a positive relationship with a student, “is about recognizing and assisting in meeting student needs inside and outside the classroom.” 

Our goal as an educator is for each of our students to reach their fullest potential and in order to do so relationships need to be established and maintained. In time, becoming a master educator involves taking the time needed to develop a trusting relationship with each student that educator is responsible for. The challenge behind this requires patience and understanding but it also requires an open mind to the possibilities that can happen. The 4 key areas of name, identity, empathetic listening, and educational progress all play a very important interconnecting role in making sure that relationships we establish with our students are solidified so, in the end, they can reach the best possible version of themself.